In Confinement

This is the most difficult post I have ever composed. I have bothered my head much about what to write down from the thousand thoughts and experiences going through my mind. My feelings hardly can be put into words. Not only Dominik was born 3 weeks ago but also a mother. If I worded the first days I’d use the following expressions: complete exhaustion, crying fits, agonizing fear, first experiences, getting used to each other, getting accustomed to the completely new situation.
This period is a vicious circle at first. This is time for recover, it would be important to stay in bed lieing avoiding nervousness because of the involution of the womb and galactopoiesis. You know that you should relax but it’s almost impossible to carry out unless you have a mother like mine whose solicitude is endless. And then I haven’t mentioned the unexpected early visitors. You have just try to assimilate the fact that you have a baby, an own baby who needs you, only you and this time forth you’re responsible for him, you live for him and do your best while your life has been turned upside down for that you can’t prepare yourself during the 9 months. I think I would die of the bare idea of losing him.