Soul Refreshing

Offering me the post of Emile’s godmother is definitely a heart-warming gesture which involves an honourable duty. It would only be proper to ask, who is the godfather then? The lucky man is Lajos’ best friend who is entitled to own this title. Hopefully, Emile will have 2 loving godmothers and 2 loving godfathers in the end. I can tell you that I could entirely become one with the spirit of the day – holding the babe in swaddling-clothes in the church who is, by the way, slept through deeply the whole procedure and even the whole day. In spite of the fact that the rain upset our initial plans, we had a great day including the whole big family at my parents' place, which means 27 people (all but one). My father cook the wild-hog stew in a caldron! To our surprise, more and more appetizing masterpieces appeared by kind cousins, we hardly could cope with all of them. Never better Easter Monday.

Less Soul Refreshing

Finally decided to sue for divorce in January after 7 months separate living. The first result of this step is a letter from the County Court that has come to hand in these days. The LETTER I’ve never received such kind before, that carries a lot of weight. We’re ordered to appear before the court on the 16th of June. Hopefully, both of us had enough time to calm down and to be ready for handle the situation accordingly. Acts, manifestations, attitude, morals from my husband’s side are far under the acceptable cathegory till now.

Meeting a MAN

This note is dedicated to the person I've met these days. Believe it or not, he perfectly answers the description that nestled into my brain or even exceeds it. Would it be an early conclusion after a single meeting? I'm afraid, it is. However it may turn out, he's already touched my spirit. I appreciate his mental constitution, his self-confidence, his neatness, his manhood, his fields of interest. Provided he says the truth, the plain truth. I'm eager to prove that the values I stand for meet his requirements. What's more, they're even beyond expectations - without playing any role.

Briefly

Being the right place, doing the right job, surrounded by the right people are things that make somebody to say that she is lucky. Circumstances are fixed. Spiritually strengthened.

You know what? Have you ever walk down the street confidently with a thought in your mind: you are exactly the person who you always wanted to be?

Long weekend followed by short weekend

Last weekend was a substantial loooooong one including soooooo much fun owing to the extra 2+2 days off – unlike this weekend which is a short, industrial one but already found out how to make it full of meat… - because of National Holiday and workday-removal.

First experiences, picnic, walking-tour, some mischiefs, guests from country, extremely good weather, mountaineering. And also an event of great significance: first time holding Emile in my arms!

Taken ill

I had no choice but to stay at home for a couple of days because my health had significantly deteriorated. I became weak, had fever and was aching all over. In order to recover as soon as possible, I visited the doctor and took all the medicines she prescribed. Not my style, I’m against medicines and avoid any kind knowingly. I have the poorest medicine chest at home, apart from the ones that are not to be done without regarding everydays with a little one. Fever reducer (suppository preferred) and cough mixture, been completed with the seasonal neccessities in summer. Everybody knows, the most important thing would be the prevention. But sometimes it proves to be not enough. Dominik fought against extremely high fever a couple of days ago and needed to take antibiotics. Probably, I was infected by him. With medicine vs. without medicine - 0:1. It proved true again that recovery from an illness with medicine lasts for 7 days, without medicine lasts for a week...

Dominik had his umpteenth custome ball, the first nursery one was his fifth, exactly. The local sport club (named Green Circle) usually organizes several events for children throughout the year. When we were children, we used to take part in them with my sister. The custome ball is one of them. He was a puppy in 2009, a cowboy in 2010 (also in the infant’s nursery) and a knight this year twice. Always finished in the first three and came out with a little rhyme.

Emile and his mother are still in one and enjoy good health. These pics were taken just before I wrote this. Supposedly the last photos in this configuration…

LOVAG

Középkori lovag vagyok,

A jó célért harcba szállok.

Védelmezem a gyengéket,

Pártfogolom, akit üldöznek.
Pengeéles bárdom hegyét

Kerülje az ellenség!

Kivel eddig párbajt vívtam,

Talán most is reszket még.

Nem tűröm el, hogyha gáncs ér,

Harcolok az igazságért.

Sehol sincs tán a világon

Nálam bátrabb dalia,
Ne lopd el a király lányát,

S nem lesz akkor semmi galiba!

ISE, Amsterdam RAI

FIRST – in many ways. First but not last, hopefully.

The first international business trip.
The first time in Amsterdam.
The first „long-term” separation from Dominik.

It would be an early summing up to speak about the efficiency of this exhibition. As a general rule, the events like this have an indirect effect on the company’s life. Anyway, I’d say that it was a successful one. There were visitors truly from all over the world. It was a fantastic experience to meet those people personally with whom I communicated just by e-mail or by phone before. Additionally, two members of our distributor company from the UK joined us when we were out for dinner one night. It was good to get an inside view of the trade and hear the different people talking shop who were in the same line. Getting back home entirely filled up with experimentalism.

Although, we were on the exhibition all day long, I kept my eyes peeled regarding the lions of the place. What I really liked and could become one with immediately, was the vehicular habit. Bikes and cyclists wherever you see. Seems like the whole population prefer this means of transport against any other. Tiptop ladies got on their bikes in their high heeled footwear as well. Some of them had stylishly, with artificial flower decorated cycles. It was worth taking a look at the domestic architecture. Narrow block of flats on the bank of the canal, of which residents rightly can compete for the title of the world’s narrowest town houses. The living space is well-seen from the outside as they use no curtains on their windows at all. Additionally, the windows are huge and allow the wondering tourists to examine a family’s life within four walls from top to toe. What should come into your mind when you hear about the Netherlands are: Dutch cheese, bulbs (mainly tulips), windmills, wooden shoes, coffee shops, Red Light District – not aiming at completeness. Visitation of latters dropped out of the itinerary because of shortage of time but some of the formers were purchased to rejoice family members and to remain something to be reminiscent of my first Dutch buzz.

Ready, Steady, Go to Amsterdam!

I'm going to visit the Dutch capital on business for a couple of days at the very beginning of February. Integrated Systems Europe (ISE) is Europe's No. 1 show for professional AV and electronic systems integration. Our company performs as an exhibitor there year by year. We're preparing for this event for weeks. Booth planning, promotional gifts, reservations... The whole DEXON is in an exhibition fever, especially me, as this will be my first business trip to a foreign country - additionally by air.

...and so it was fated

Shocking confession at the very end of the year of 2010.

THE FACTS Krisz and me go our own ways. We live apart even since May. Believe it or not, I’m a single woman more than half a year and do everything all by my very self. I did not have enough spirit to speak about it just by now and even the people nearest to me (relatives, colleague) did/do not know because I didn’t show any indication, I couldn’t give any sign of this bad break. Inglorious failure, dirty fuckup – I mean, dirty linen which shouldn’ t been washed in public. The time elapsed was enough (was it?) to set my heart at rest, to compose myself spiritually.

THE OCCASION Who knows me, knows very well that I never come to a decision groundlessly. And I’m not a hothead. This was my most meaningful decision I ever made, which was maturing in my mind for years. Occasions and events came and went that kept us always busy and took our mind off our problems. I would have had another baby by the time Dominik turned 3. But it was just a plan – one among many. A plan that must proceed gingerly. There were some simple but so much the more important questions in the wind to which I tried to find the answers. Consideration followed by reconsideration time and time again…

Hope, you can read between the lines and understand me. I have never thought that this may happen to me ever. Not even in my dreams. However things may turn out, I needed to take this step.

By the age of 30

I decided even in the year of 2009 that I leave no loose threads in my life by the age of 30. Mission completed.

Round the second last candle

Well done! Plan executed. The house shines clear and is ready to be the scene of celebration thanks to my great and only help, Dominik. Although I prepare for these holy days throughout the year, the final spurt is in December. Sometimes it’s not easy to carry out all my conception over the daily routine and additionally, clearness and orderliness are primarily important for me. Great achievement, regarding the size of the house, the time available and my maximalism according to which all nooks and corners must shine. Sorry for making you tired with my police, but everything begins with it for me.
Santa misteriously came and went, left behind some sweets and toys, the list of wishes was long. Pending the little Jesus' arrival, the Advent Calendar and other festive activities keep us entertained and make easier to wait and count down the nights we still have to sleep.

November Sketch

I changed tactics this year regarding the festive preparations. I don’t want to find myself more dead than alive under the Xmas tree. I want to finish with the neccessary big cleaning by the end of November and want to spend time only with the most pleasant parts of the preparations together with Dominik in December. Upon this consideration I’m planning to buy the presents only in December enjoying the Xmas crowd knowing that everything is ready for Xmas at home or at least the final touches should left. I never succeed until now but I never aspire to do it knowingly.
Actually, I realized that Xmas itself means not that 1-2-3 days of the year – ever so much rather the preparations. Advent season is obviously good for putting ourselves in tune.

Martin-day in the kindergarten
All the children of the institution with parents made a procession around the kindergarten with tea-lights in little hands on a starry skied Friday evening. A beautiful horse jogged along at the head of the procession with knight Martin on its back. We marched in the midst of singing straight to the garden of the nursery which was brilliantly illuminated thanks to the numberless candle hanged up to the fence and the artisticly carved jack-o’lanterns. Mulled wine, warm tea, bread and dripping and salty cakes increased the good humour. Unfortunately, no photo was taken because my camera did not work at that evening...
Springlike weekend in the country
Another salami making in the country – mixing the wild with domestic meat. I enjoyed the springlike sun and the zephyr on my skin while cycling through the plain. Some self-forgetting moments to refill myself.

Kányádi Sándor: Valami készül

Elszállt a fecske,
üres a fészke,
de mintha most is
itt ficserészne,
úgy kél a nap,
és úgy jön az este,
mintha még nálunk
volna a fecske.
Még egyelőre
minden a régi,
bár a szúnyog már
bőrét nem félti,
és a szellő is
be-beáll szélnek,
fákon a lombok
remegnek, félnek.
Valami titkon,
valami készül:
itt-ott a dombon
már egy-egy csősz ül:

Nézd csak a tájat,
de szépen őszül.

Ready For Fall

We slowly become accustomed to the chilly mornings and had the new warm garments and footwear in. Dominik slowly gets used to the kindergarten and I slowly assimilate regarding my new job. We’re ready for fall. This is not the most joyful time of the year but it has its own beauties.
Dominik enjoys the new stage of his life which is more exciting and gives him more independence/freedom of action. I think we managed to „promote” the institution very well in advance. He was eager to go and said to me on the third day that he liked to go to the kindergarten and wanted to try the little bed yonder. He has a best friend from the very beginning, he is Csabi and his full name is „Rázga Csaba”. I got it from him. I didn’t know him until one morning. They laughed at each other impishly without saying a word while taking off the coat and changing the shoes. I asked Dominik who that boy was over there and he whispered the answer: „Csabiii!” As I thought… Ágota néni and Orsi néni do their best for all the 32 children who attend the mini group.

Summer End(s)

Summer is slowly over and we weren’t on our usual holiday. On one hand because of my new workplace. Trial period is 3 months, during which the newly employed is not allowed to go on holiday or to make a day off. This period is a big trial for everyone. Mainly considering a child-mother relationship. To tell you the truth, my heart breaks every single day. This is not the way I wanted to choose. But sometimes we need to give up our dreams and to change our plans in order to find our feet.
The so-called summer holiday was crushed into a single long weekend in the country: visiting relatives linked with bathing, flower carnival in Debrecen and a fair in Hortobágy. I had much more delightful summers before and hope much more memorable ones has the future in store for us hereafter. BUT as my manner is to make out the utmost from this season, we were to discover and utilize the local possibilities and make the best of our reduced time spent together. Quality of time became much more important. Such as pre-planning (eg. what to cook, when to cook, how and when to get the ingredients, who to pick up Dominik, when to arrange operational affairs…). I’m running against clock again and try to fulfil my commitments on every walk of life and relish the last rays of the afternoon sun after work on the way to my car to the parking area.

Over 3 years

I hardly can go beyond the title. Three years passed, the little baby boy grew into a little boy fully ready for nursery. Three years crying and laughing but always having the very best for him in sight. Maybe far too much.
On the whole, we can say that he has a feeling heart and besides numerous great features he rises above the average in some of them (as I see as a mother who has a soft place in her heart for her son): emphaty/symphaty, having respect for the others and other’s belongings, attention, orderliness, carefullness, patience and calmness. According to his godfather’s opinion Dominik also displays a taste for balls. Some guy!

Dominik is on Holiday

I’ve just dried my last teardrops. I have to miss my little son for a couple of days. First time to go on holiday without parents. He spend some time with my mother-in-law and her boyfriend at Lake Balaton. It was good to see him to be in a traveller’s fever, ready to spend some day without me.

MyPhilosophy

There are things that make me happy, spiritually. I’ve got

conceptions about a way of living, about how to lead a complete, lively life. I also have principles, according to which I usually act. Usually and not always.

These are:
- Begin to do anything, the final result must be success. If not, try to avoid to make the same mistake again.
- Be unknown the word impossible in your dictionary.
- Do anything, do it above the average, rise about the crowd.
- Aim for perfection, never give a point of attack.
- Be great at several things but in case of taking no interest in certain fields or making no sense of something at all, don’t waist more time on it.
- Do something valuable, something useful, something memorable every single day.
- Try to reach the state of mind as often as you can when you feel like hug the whole world.
- Take notice of missed trains but try to lost the least possible.

I have much pleasure in informing that I got a situation and established myself in company Y (see previous note) from 6th July. DEXON is the developer and manufacturer of advanced video wall controllers for multi-screen video display projects. I consider working here an honour and it’s important for me that I can use English every single day at all hours.

The shoe is now on the other foot

I can say that the last week was a determinant one, full of content. Some self-realization (Maslow 5), some acknowledgement (Maslow 4), some success, some self-satisfaction and a lot of experience. Experimentalism gives you self-confidence but there is need for some risk and some courage to gain them (not bad if you have encouragement as well). Big words but I was given pretty much all of them last week. Feelings that are worth being sensible of, words that are worth hearing, people who are well worth getting to know, who fill you up and give new blood to stand up and carry on. Moments to live for, that have burnt themselves into our mind. Let’s see the happenings.
MONDAY
Two job interviews in the afternoon (both through a head hunter company). The managing director recognized me on the basis of my CV at company X, because he worked with my previous company. Informal, friendly, well-succeeded conversation. He said that if I was still interested in the job, I gave them a call on Friday. I said that I could say right there and right then that I was interested in it, that’s why I was there. ”Who knows, you may get a not refuseable offer today, the offer of your dreams.”
The second interview of that day at company Y was an unexpectable success. The questioner was found out that I was over more job interviews because of my proper state of mind. That first turn was personally completed with the 2nd turn which was a great honour for me but didn’t lead me to jump to a conclusion.
THUESDAY
My first day at my new workplace at company Z. I was informed about my employment the previous Friday (no employment contract underwritten till then). Location: perfect (halfway between my parent’s house and the new nursery), working hours: perfect. Others are only for vegetating, for stagnation. It won’t be a challange. Profile and tasks are the very same as at my previous company, only in a smaller way. I have it at my fingertips. Do I want to do it or not? Am I ready for giving up certainty for uncertainty? It’s not a question.
WEDNESDAY & THURSDAY
Learning at company Z. I had to tell them my test-Friday at company Y. That announcement wasn’t received favourably and I was told that if I had more irons in the fire, they had too. They called for a girl to try by Friday. It’s correct. I had no kick coming.
FRIDAY
Trial day at company Y. Discussion of the course of the day in the morning. I was told what to do and how to do by the managing director because the trainee had a day off. Everything went smoothly, I was asked more times during the day whether everything was o.k. or if I had any question. By the way, the director gave evidence of great empathy, he tolerated my evening occupation and suggested to finish earlier.
I had a class reunion in that evening and I happen to organize it with one of my best friend from primary school. (We’ve said good-bye to the primary school 15 years ago.) Rushing home after work, quick telephone call for company X – just in time!, quick conversion, picking up the neccessary things, driving fast into the downtown to pick up one of my classmate and not forget buying some fruit (instead of home-made cakes) on the way of the class reunion. Everything was according to my plan, the evening was great, I was in a record-breaking form, I had a running brainstorm and was happy because I had a lot to speak about. Not just about wedding and child but about life and some life experience. Being on top of things makes you self-confidence. I could speak on and raise subjects, added my remarks, could start the ball rolling so that that event could be more special and remarkable. Last but not least, thank god my memory didn’t failed me (till then). Going to bed at around midnight. Oh my God, I forgot to call company Z! No matter, if it had been so important, I wouldn’t had forgotten.
SATURDAY & SUNDAY
I spent the whole weekend (2*7 hours) at Hungaroring with the caterer company with whom I work occasionally, you know. Two days on the island of calmness. And innumerable quantity of Ferrari. I have never seen such a lot racing car of high value in the same place. The famous Ferrari Team spent a couple of days in Budapest within the frame of the event called Gran Turismo Budapest 2010 and tested the Hungarian speed track just for fun. (Hungaroring is kept its place amongst the most prestigious race locations all over the world.) We provided lunch for them while staying at Hungaroring. I learnt an Italian sentence there: „Sappiamo tutto sulla tua carriera.” = I know everything about your carreer. My third (fourth) language would be the Italian, I think.
On Saturday evening Dominik has his first quite serious accident. He hurt his chin while he was dancing with Mickey Mouse. I got frightened at the sight of the flowing blood but it was needless to sew the wound.