The first one and a half year with NOLEN

Our newborn baby has grown into a running toddler by now. Unbelievable how fast time flies. Nobody minds - at this stage. Mostly the 70-year-old fatherly grandfather (henceforward grandpa). He is keen to spend as much time with him as possible. 

Although, the stories to tell is not less than with Dominik, the time dedicated to such things is much less. (Decreasing tendency with blog writing year by year...) If I started from the very beginning, I would start with the recovery and galactopoiesis that all were much slower. And then I would tell  that nursing went almost down into the tomb but I was very commited with breast-feeding and fighted for it, hand in hand with Nolen. Fighted for breast-feeding and fighted against husband and his parents as well at the same time.

They all did not trust me and really forget that I already had a child and was over a three-and-half-year(!) nursing period. Poetical question: what else was needed? Acts and facts - I had all. I would also speak about the tears. Tears that often came up. First when I hold my second son in my arms, sitting in the same chair, in the same nursing position.

But I did not want to start from the very beginning. I just want to write about Nolen and my feelings. Normally, mothers tend to make comparisons between their children (how things went then with the first one, how many theeth were at the age of x, etc.). So it is OK to make ourselves aware of that each person is individual. So no comparison, two different children. But my principles remained the same. Did they? 

I feel that as a mother of two, I became "pro" in the theme of bringing up children - definately with much less worrying and much more cool. Unfortunately, my husband is not as cool as he should be as a newly parent, so my cool hardly can be validated. On the other side, fortunately, my dearest Elizabeth was thinking about the grandparents on father's side who could be happy to have baby Nolen as the very first grandchildren. So yes, I can confirm that they treat him so.

Nolen seemed to be full of energy even while he was in my belly. Powerful movements were experienced from an early period of the pregnancy. He is a fidgeting hopper and also a patient boy always when needed. Smart, observant, full of energy and feelings, little mischief. I could praise him to the sky but rather not. 
On one hand, I try not to be prejudiced, and on the other hand, his father and grandparents can't stop praise him not to the sky but to the outer space. I feel that my task is just to keep this in check to avoid personality distortion or falsh self image if any arisen. I recognize what is OK and what is not, by experience. This not means that I am the "bogeyman" in the family. 

I am the healthy mind. And this is well enough here. I love him. He is a special little man, really special. He did not ask for life but we did give him life. And this little man has a great mission on Earth. (In his grandpa's opinion, seeing his hands, he inspired to be an artist.) We all unspeakably love him and he gives endless love day by day to everyone in the family.

Metamorphosis II.

It is said that every pregnancy differs from each other. Being in the family way for the first time a decade ago was not the nice type. But I was so committed. Although, vomiting and sickness remained loyal and did not leave me to expect the baby in peace. While I was squatting in front of the toilet bowl, I knew well that it could not be the end of the story in children point of view, just because 9 terrible months, which was the worst 9 months of my life.

In my girlish novel - inspired by perfectionism, the age difference between my two children would had been 3 years (and their fathers would had been the very same person). In my girlish novel - inspired by life, the age difference between my children is 11 years (and their fathers are different). Oh my... Whose life is it? On the third birthday of my sweet Dominik his father had already been on another way. My choice, best choice.

7 years living on our own. 7 nice years. Almost perfect and almost complete. Memorable, worth to remember. Enviable as a one-parent family. The kind of life that never returns again. I think the maximum was brought out of the situation. It was full of efforts and events. Efforts aim to feel we live. To learn what and who counts. To learn how to be really independent. To learn how to refill. To travel. To create a fairy world. Attempts to let somebody into our life.

So those years let the desire of a second child sleep. I did everything on my own. I considered my  son's interest as the very first. First and foremost. Seeing the sunset or walking in the city after sunset or simly going out or just spending some time alone, all required some organization (babysitting). By the time we reached the "comfort level", the idea of the second child was almost completely abandoned.

Then Gabi came. Without child but with the love of children. Then me, as a (naive) benefactress, I had the conviction that he deserved an own child. As he was at the age of 43, there was no time to waste. This is how it could happen that only after 2 months, when even the pregnancy test said negative, I knew exactly the baby is coming. I do not deny that I had mixed feelings. On hand, because I knew empirically that everything would be changed. Everything. A baby is a challenge for couples. If the relationship is not stable enough, the tiny new arrival may make it stronger or make it broken. And on the other hand, I also had the concern what if the same terrible 9 months repeated, when I am not myself at all. Additionally, I already have a child to take care about. 

A baby requires several years of full commitment and self-immolation. I wanted Gabi to do his share, partly at least, indeed. I really did not want to do everything around the baby on my own. I told him at the very beginning that he really must stand by me and must make me feel his love so that I can do it. So I worried. When it became clear that vomiting and sickness stay with me again, I just accepted and adapted myself to the circumstances and bore my destiny with meekness.

I wanted to slow down but not that much. I got the desired deceleration, time stopped for months. I even did not want to avoid the hospital and the infusion. I seriously dried out. When we run into difficulties during blood taking and acetone was found in my urine and I felt as feeble as never before, I needed some help. The infusion helped. Though, not much. As soon as my body got accustomed, vomiting returned. Vomit reducer was OK for me but not OK for the baby. Therefore, the dose must be feeded gingerly. However, it was good to take a new lease of life in some degree.

As a summary, the very same terrible (or even worse) period of my life returned for 9 months, for the last time. But it was worth every second of struggling and suffering and pain. Not only the medical results showed but also I knew exactly from the beginning to the end that the baby and its parameters are very OK, all the time. I just needed to hold on and calm down the worrying grandparents on my husband's side time after time.

 

My sixth sense made me to preserve in perfect, unexeptionable condition all clothes, toys and belongings of Dominik. So, I'm a mother of the two greatest boys in the world. No girls. This is not that generation. Maybe my grandchildren, those will be females. And to make the story complete, I also got a third boy. My husband is the biggest kid in the family. Seriously.  

First 4-member family vacation_North Italy 2019

             Destination: Lago di Garda

         Transportation: by land

         Duration: 8,5 hours

To start the relativly long drive with a baby in the middle of the night is a good idea. To train the baby's skin under the sun before vacation is also a good idea. To organize the vacation so that the elder boy will not be bored is not only a good idea but also a neccessity. Luckily, a mom required to be full of good ideas. 

We all excitedly were looking forward our first family trip once the destination and the way of travel were decided. Our way led through Slovenia, of which beautiful mountains were found in a misterious morning mist. 

As a first etap we stopped in Verona mainly because of me and the Casa di Giulietta as a must-see in the town. A Shakespeare drama, a world-famous balcony, crowd, padlocks, chewing gums, love messages and the statue of Julia whose shiny breast was polished up by the uncountable touches of tourists believing it brings luck into their love. Not as romantic place as it should be. And in real, Julia was never lived in Verona, only according to the drama...

After the season's first pizza, gelato and a short drive, we found ourselves at Lake Garda. My sweet Dominik said every day to me that I chose very well, even that I could not had chosen a better place and hotel. We all loved the food, the fascinating view from the pool, from the resturant, from our room. Regarding the programs, nobody was upset my plans. Each family member has its own favourite part. New experiences every day. 

Dominik's favourite was the day dedicated to Gardaland, which is actually Garda's Disneyland. The huge amusement park covers an area of 200,000 sqms, opened in 1975 and was ranked fifth in the top ten amusement parks in the world with the best turnover by Forbes Magazine. 

He also had favourite rollercoaster, the Mammut. I do not know when but he became a wild boy and put his hands in the air and do not  hold the grabber at all during the whole ride that totally made me crazy. 
As I was/am a mother of 3 including my husband, we needed to repeat that perfect day as they could not get enough of it within a day. I can tell you that not even 2 days were enough.

Gabi's favourite part was a little city approached by boat, called Limone. It proved to be a wise decision to purchase the "Happy Family" boat tichet which allowed to change boat as many times as we wished and so to try more types on the same day.
We chose the faster and closed to reach the northest city of Lake Garda, Riva, which is a paradise for surfers. Cruising back from town to town, taking pleasure in the scenery, enjoying the sun and the wind at the same time are all feel like a nice, relaxing day of the vacation. Limone is picturesque itself and seeing the mountains on the opposite bank makes it even more picturesque. Gabi wants to return there tete-a-tete.

My favourite and perfect day was the day when we used the ferry from Maderno to get across the opposite bank to reach the cable car Funivia in Malcesine up to Monte Baldo at 1760m, which is a compulsory stop for tourists. 

The rotating cabins are able to make you fully appreciate the unique panorama of the miracles of nature with Mt Baldo and Lake Garda. Mt Baldo offers large amount of trails at different levels for those who want to dare trekking along the Baldo mountain crests or simply walk into meadows along panorama trails. 

Astonishing view that I can't get enough of, indeed. While the boys were relaxing after a short walk at the "refill station", I kept on discovering the area. I found the paragliding starting point. Seeing the combination of lake and mountain, the colourful quilts coming to life in the wind gave goosebumps. 

The route led all way long very close to the lake and on our way back to the ferry, we stopped to dip into the cool water of Garda. It was crystal clear and refreshing! And it felt like heaven after such a perfect day. The sunset was seen from the ferry, with that never-forgotten view in my mind.

Leaving Lake Garda behind, the last but one stop was Venice, the city of canals and bridges. We took a train, then got on the vaporetto, visited the most popular spots (Piazza San Marco, Ponte Rialto), tasted ice-cream again, strolled the streets but as there were tourists everywhere, it lost its charm.


The final destination was Lido di Jesolo because we could not go home without dipping into the sea. Our hotel room was so roomy, enslaved us totally, therefore we decided to stay one more night. We did nothing else than enjoyed the sun, the salty waves, the sand. And took a lovely photo series, which remains eternal memory.

Finally, some thoughts from the youngest family member point of view. Our little one - without exaggeration  - twisted everyone everywhere round his finger. He got in touch with each person, should be young or old, female or male, no matter eating in a restaurant or waiting in a queue. No people could stand without babbling  and smiling at him. We caught many kind whispers between couples, collected more tons of appreciative looks, friendly smiles, praising words anywhere we appeared with him. I can say that he enjoyed this holiday not less than any of us. He is a real party face - hearing any music, his little hands are risen in the air, signing the rythm. What else this holiday will remain memorable of? Of the first two teeth. There, at the sea, after sand-eating, the first two teeth were discovered when rinsing with water.