The First Trial

Over the first hearing in the court room. Mixed feelings but not unsure at all and no way to undo the whole. A little bit late but undoubtedly the best decision. To be continued in autumn...
To shake up the rest of the day and not to become possessed with gloom - in conformity of my girlish being, I've chased a couple of new wearables. Then I enjoyed the sunshine alone at home and as a travelling circus is stationed in our town these days, we couldn't omit the evening repertoir with Dominik.

Planning the Summer

Pretty over the speech-day, the official closing of the nursery year; in the midst of the better and better programmes for every single day that has left in the nursery till the summer holiday. Just a couple of them to mention: slush-day with firemen with real fire engine that was inspired to fill the kid’s air-pool, children’s day with bouncy castle, traffic-day with real policemen, excursions, indian-day in the nearby forest, cake and ice-cream day, vitamin-day… Children were kept busy and well entertained right before starting their real summer fun. I’m happy to have Dominik attend this institution because I see him to enlarge in mind day by day by hearing and seeing his newest experiences. The older and the 24-year-old kindergarten teacher complete each other entirely. Perfect duet.

I needed to put the calendar in front of me with special regard to June, July and August to plan the whole summer knowingly week by week because the summer is long (fortunately but insufficiently) and the number of my free days is limited. I have to think through what is sure, think about the fixed dates. I also needed to take into account my colleague’s holiday because we aren’t allowed to go on holiday at the same time.
I definately want to take my son abroad at least for a week. I need to think through where I dare and what is worth… Let’s see. Alone with a 4-year-old somewhere around the world - I cannot count upon anybody as a co-traveller. By air or by land? I ogle Slovenia, Bled Island, the island of peace and quiet. I would join a cycling tour because Slovenia’s exceptionally diverse landscape with its countless sites of natural beauty make it an ideal choice for an active holiday and moving around by bike is the best way of exploring a new place. Looks tempting but I’m not sure if this kind of holiday will be the perfect choice regarding Dominik. So, creating the right theory is in progress…

Till then, we are roaming our country, meet relatives and gain domestic experiences.

In memory of "Bátyus"

My father's brother departed from life at the age of 56 due to an evil moment. Sad to know that there are things that are especially hard to process.

Life is a game that everyone plays but loose at the end. However, when someone goes to the next world he leaves his loved ones in tears. At this time, it is important that you show that you are there, so that they can bring themselves together and start will there life again.

Vision

Being your own master, having self-control, being able to keep your course even if you’re provoked or feel like someone opened your vein. Be yourself, play straight and put it deep into your mind that you have to stay humane always, in any case.
Fine words that work automatically in case of some people, others forget to act accordingly and they’re not for a man. Beware of them, recognize them and move off asap.

Going ahead, building from experiences, packet praises and words of appreciation (whether in the frameworks for a P.E. lesson or else). Taking part in social life, being informed about the happenings of high life, showing the most possible from world to the next generation and wait. Bide your time. Play the policy of wait and see. I believe that I’m on the right track. A vision statement doesn’t tell you how you’re going to get there, it does set the direction. Once you have one, your vision statement will have a huge influence in decision making and the way you allocate resources. It’s the picture of you in the future but so much more than that. Your inspiration, the framework for all your strategic planning.
Let your imagination go and dare to dream – would like to say but I’m of the opinion that we have to treat dreaming gingerly.

Mother's Day 2011

The 2nd Mother’s Day within official sphere. Needless to say that I was touched even from the very first moment and had to see the little play with wholehearted smile on my face while tears gathered in my eyes. I knew all the songs and rhymes because they had been repeated for weeks by Dominik mainly during bath-time and right before falling asleep. As it turned out, my son is a really popular figure in the group. At least 6 mothers let me know that Dominik is an often repeated name at home. A mother heard this and joined the conversation asking what was he doin’ to be such repeatedly mentioned? Other mother said that his son intend to invite Dominik first to his birthday party. Anyway, he is invited to Laura’s birthday party tomorrow afternoon. I don’t know what makes him so popular among his little friends – first time to face this fact but definitely inflated me with pride.

Soul Refreshing

Offering me the post of Emile’s godmother is definitely a heart-warming gesture which involves an honourable duty. It would only be proper to ask, who is the godfather then? The lucky man is Lajos’ best friend who is entitled to own this title. Hopefully, Emile will have 2 loving godmothers and 2 loving godfathers in the end. I can tell you that I could entirely become one with the spirit of the day – holding the babe in swaddling-clothes in the church who is, by the way, slept through deeply the whole procedure and even the whole day. In spite of the fact that the rain upset our initial plans, we had a great day including the whole big family at my parents' place, which means 27 people (all but one). My father cook the wild-hog stew in a caldron! To our surprise, more and more appetizing masterpieces appeared by kind cousins, we hardly could cope with all of them. Never better Easter Monday.

Less Soul Refreshing

Finally decided to sue for divorce in January after 7 months separate living. The first result of this step is a letter from the County Court that has come to hand in these days. The LETTER I’ve never received such kind before, that carries a lot of weight. We’re ordered to appear before the court on the 16th of June. Hopefully, both of us had enough time to calm down and to be ready for handle the situation accordingly. Acts, manifestations, attitude, morals from my husband’s side are far under the acceptable cathegory till now.

Meeting a MAN

This note is dedicated to the person I've met these days. Believe it or not, he perfectly answers the description that nestled into my brain or even exceeds it. Would it be an early conclusion after a single meeting? I'm afraid, it is. However it may turn out, he's already touched my spirit. I appreciate his mental constitution, his self-confidence, his neatness, his manhood, his fields of interest. Provided he says the truth, the plain truth. I'm eager to prove that the values I stand for meet his requirements. What's more, they're even beyond expectations - without playing any role.

Briefly

Being the right place, doing the right job, surrounded by the right people are things that make somebody to say that she is lucky. Circumstances are fixed. Spiritually strengthened.

You know what? Have you ever walk down the street confidently with a thought in your mind: you are exactly the person who you always wanted to be?

Long weekend followed by short weekend

Last weekend was a substantial loooooong one including soooooo much fun owing to the extra 2+2 days off – unlike this weekend which is a short, industrial one but already found out how to make it full of meat… - because of National Holiday and workday-removal.

First experiences, picnic, walking-tour, some mischiefs, guests from country, extremely good weather, mountaineering. And also an event of great significance: first time holding Emile in my arms!

Taken ill

I had no choice but to stay at home for a couple of days because my health had significantly deteriorated. I became weak, had fever and was aching all over. In order to recover as soon as possible, I visited the doctor and took all the medicines she prescribed. Not my style, I’m against medicines and avoid any kind knowingly. I have the poorest medicine chest at home, apart from the ones that are not to be done without regarding everydays with a little one. Fever reducer (suppository preferred) and cough mixture, been completed with the seasonal neccessities in summer. Everybody knows, the most important thing would be the prevention. But sometimes it proves to be not enough. Dominik fought against extremely high fever a couple of days ago and needed to take antibiotics. Probably, I was infected by him. With medicine vs. without medicine - 0:1. It proved true again that recovery from an illness with medicine lasts for 7 days, without medicine lasts for a week...

Dominik had his umpteenth custome ball, the first nursery one was his fifth, exactly. The local sport club (named Green Circle) usually organizes several events for children throughout the year. When we were children, we used to take part in them with my sister. The custome ball is one of them. He was a puppy in 2009, a cowboy in 2010 (also in the infant’s nursery) and a knight this year twice. Always finished in the first three and came out with a little rhyme.

Emile and his mother are still in one and enjoy good health. These pics were taken just before I wrote this. Supposedly the last photos in this configuration…

LOVAG

Középkori lovag vagyok,

A jó célért harcba szállok.

Védelmezem a gyengéket,

Pártfogolom, akit üldöznek.
Pengeéles bárdom hegyét

Kerülje az ellenség!

Kivel eddig párbajt vívtam,

Talán most is reszket még.

Nem tűröm el, hogyha gáncs ér,

Harcolok az igazságért.

Sehol sincs tán a világon

Nálam bátrabb dalia,
Ne lopd el a király lányát,

S nem lesz akkor semmi galiba!

ISE, Amsterdam RAI

FIRST – in many ways. First but not last, hopefully.

The first international business trip.
The first time in Amsterdam.
The first „long-term” separation from Dominik.

It would be an early summing up to speak about the efficiency of this exhibition. As a general rule, the events like this have an indirect effect on the company’s life. Anyway, I’d say that it was a successful one. There were visitors truly from all over the world. It was a fantastic experience to meet those people personally with whom I communicated just by e-mail or by phone before. Additionally, two members of our distributor company from the UK joined us when we were out for dinner one night. It was good to get an inside view of the trade and hear the different people talking shop who were in the same line. Getting back home entirely filled up with experimentalism.

Although, we were on the exhibition all day long, I kept my eyes peeled regarding the lions of the place. What I really liked and could become one with immediately, was the vehicular habit. Bikes and cyclists wherever you see. Seems like the whole population prefer this means of transport against any other. Tiptop ladies got on their bikes in their high heeled footwear as well. Some of them had stylishly, with artificial flower decorated cycles. It was worth taking a look at the domestic architecture. Narrow block of flats on the bank of the canal, of which residents rightly can compete for the title of the world’s narrowest town houses. The living space is well-seen from the outside as they use no curtains on their windows at all. Additionally, the windows are huge and allow the wondering tourists to examine a family’s life within four walls from top to toe. What should come into your mind when you hear about the Netherlands are: Dutch cheese, bulbs (mainly tulips), windmills, wooden shoes, coffee shops, Red Light District – not aiming at completeness. Visitation of latters dropped out of the itinerary because of shortage of time but some of the formers were purchased to rejoice family members and to remain something to be reminiscent of my first Dutch buzz.

Ready, Steady, Go to Amsterdam!

I'm going to visit the Dutch capital on business for a couple of days at the very beginning of February. Integrated Systems Europe (ISE) is Europe's No. 1 show for professional AV and electronic systems integration. Our company performs as an exhibitor there year by year. We're preparing for this event for weeks. Booth planning, promotional gifts, reservations... The whole DEXON is in an exhibition fever, especially me, as this will be my first business trip to a foreign country - additionally by air.

...and so it was fated

Shocking confession at the very end of the year of 2010.

THE FACTS Krisz and me go our own ways. We live apart even since May. Believe it or not, I’m a single woman more than half a year and do everything all by my very self. I did not have enough spirit to speak about it just by now and even the people nearest to me (relatives, colleague) did/do not know because I didn’t show any indication, I couldn’t give any sign of this bad break. Inglorious failure, dirty fuckup – I mean, dirty linen which shouldn’ t been washed in public. The time elapsed was enough (was it?) to set my heart at rest, to compose myself spiritually.

THE OCCASION Who knows me, knows very well that I never come to a decision groundlessly. And I’m not a hothead. This was my most meaningful decision I ever made, which was maturing in my mind for years. Occasions and events came and went that kept us always busy and took our mind off our problems. I would have had another baby by the time Dominik turned 3. But it was just a plan – one among many. A plan that must proceed gingerly. There were some simple but so much the more important questions in the wind to which I tried to find the answers. Consideration followed by reconsideration time and time again…

Hope, you can read between the lines and understand me. I have never thought that this may happen to me ever. Not even in my dreams. However things may turn out, I needed to take this step.

By the age of 30

I decided even in the year of 2009 that I leave no loose threads in my life by the age of 30. Mission completed.

Round the second last candle

Well done! Plan executed. The house shines clear and is ready to be the scene of celebration thanks to my great and only help, Dominik. Although I prepare for these holy days throughout the year, the final spurt is in December. Sometimes it’s not easy to carry out all my conception over the daily routine and additionally, clearness and orderliness are primarily important for me. Great achievement, regarding the size of the house, the time available and my maximalism according to which all nooks and corners must shine. Sorry for making you tired with my police, but everything begins with it for me.
Santa misteriously came and went, left behind some sweets and toys, the list of wishes was long. Pending the little Jesus' arrival, the Advent Calendar and other festive activities keep us entertained and make easier to wait and count down the nights we still have to sleep.

November Sketch

I changed tactics this year regarding the festive preparations. I don’t want to find myself more dead than alive under the Xmas tree. I want to finish with the neccessary big cleaning by the end of November and want to spend time only with the most pleasant parts of the preparations together with Dominik in December. Upon this consideration I’m planning to buy the presents only in December enjoying the Xmas crowd knowing that everything is ready for Xmas at home or at least the final touches should left. I never succeed until now but I never aspire to do it knowingly.
Actually, I realized that Xmas itself means not that 1-2-3 days of the year – ever so much rather the preparations. Advent season is obviously good for putting ourselves in tune.

Martin-day in the kindergarten
All the children of the institution with parents made a procession around the kindergarten with tea-lights in little hands on a starry skied Friday evening. A beautiful horse jogged along at the head of the procession with knight Martin on its back. We marched in the midst of singing straight to the garden of the nursery which was brilliantly illuminated thanks to the numberless candle hanged up to the fence and the artisticly carved jack-o’lanterns. Mulled wine, warm tea, bread and dripping and salty cakes increased the good humour. Unfortunately, no photo was taken because my camera did not work at that evening...
Springlike weekend in the country
Another salami making in the country – mixing the wild with domestic meat. I enjoyed the springlike sun and the zephyr on my skin while cycling through the plain. Some self-forgetting moments to refill myself.

Kányádi Sándor: Valami készül

Elszállt a fecske,
üres a fészke,
de mintha most is
itt ficserészne,
úgy kél a nap,
és úgy jön az este,
mintha még nálunk
volna a fecske.
Még egyelőre
minden a régi,
bár a szúnyog már
bőrét nem félti,
és a szellő is
be-beáll szélnek,
fákon a lombok
remegnek, félnek.
Valami titkon,
valami készül:
itt-ott a dombon
már egy-egy csősz ül:

Nézd csak a tájat,
de szépen őszül.